The following story is true; an unsolicited manuscript from a human being who once actually taught English in a Tokyo classroom!

Sunday morning, 10am, after a long night of no sleep. I sat down at the classroom table with my first class, a group of stereotypes: the Office Lady, the Salaryman and the Schoolboy. On the table were assorted dictionaries, teaching aids and pens supplied by the company.

After a bit of an icebreaker (I can't remember if it was "Does Japan have spies?" or "What is your favorite white good?"), I asked them to read a passage to themselves for a few minutes. While they were reading I picked up one of the dictionaries to entertain myself and looked up the word "buggery." Next to the word I wrote "see sodomy." I then looked up the word "sodomy" and wrote "see buggery." Then I went back to the sodomy page and started drawing huge penises along the side. When I finished I turned to the buggery page and did the same. I smirked as I finished the last lines, imagining what fun the next teacher to use the dictionary would have.

Then I looked up . . . to find that my students had all finished reading some time ago and had been quietly watching me complete my artistic endeavors. I closed the dictionary and slowly began sliding it back over to the pile of materials to the side of me.

The Office Lady touched my arm. "Can I have my dictionary back now?" she asked.