and
the entertaining evesdropping of Loose Talk
indispensible advice from Mrs. Edo-san
Educated Answers to Tokyo's Most Oft-Asked Questions
Q: When I'm
trying to
move through a dense crowd, old ladies always poke me in the back--just to
the
side of my lumbar region. Do these women really think that doing this
will
help me to move any faster? Or are they getting some sort of secret
sensual
pleasure from the activity?
--A.H.
You can also email questions straight to Mrs. Edo-san's desk - but make sure you state clearly in the subject line that your mail is for Mrs. Edo-san, or somone else in the office might read it, and we wouldn't want that, now would we.
"Someone's always
watching us baseball players. I'd like to have dates like a normal
21-year-old. I'd like to fart in public. But I guess I'll just have to
put it
all off for a while."
Orix Blue Wave heartthrob Ichiro on the perils of popularity
"If I was him, I'd have cut open my stomach and died on the spot when they
tried to arrest me."
Shoko Asahara's older brother on the short-comings of his sibling
"The trade surplus is a simple matter. Japanese products are good, so
they
sell. Imports aren't, so they don't. The difference is our trade
surplus."
Suguru Mizuno, a 71-year-old resident of Meguro-ku, on the balance of payments
"He spread sarin throughout the city government."
Ex-Tokyo governor Shunichi Suzuki speaking metaphorically on how Aoshima killed his World Urban Expo pet project
"They're already sorry."
L.A. Dodger's tornado pitcher Hideo Nomo on how the Kintetsu Buffaloes feel about letting him go
"Then how did I get through with my Swiss Army knife?"
A passenger to a flight attendant, after asking her if airport security was really doing its job
"No, but don't hijack the plane."
The same flight attendant to the passenger's query on whether she'd like to see the knife
"Every Japanese that goes through the educational system has been subject
to
it. We're all up in arms about Aum's mind control tactics, but we should
realize that we, too, have been subjected to mind control."
Misao Miyamoto, former bureaucrat and author of "The Japanese Bureaucracy."
"Most reports have no basis in fact, but that's one of the prices you pay
for
being famous."
Osaka Governor Knock Yokoyama on how the media treats him
"One human life is heavier than the entire earth."
Late PM Takeo Fukuda when he released Red Army prisoners in exchange for passengers set free by hijackers in Dacca, 1977