Not only do I eat at least one hamburger every day, but I save all the small change from my meal in a plastic Burger Bank. I slip a coin under its slightly wilted plastic lettuce and watch as the bottom bun gobbles it up, in about the same time it takes me to gulp down the real thing. The point here is that the burger as something to eat has been redefined as something that eats.

Similarly, in fashion's quest for defining and redefining beauty, fabrics that take cosmonauts to the moon become shirts, car tires become shoe soles, choke collars that we use to make our dogs "SIT!" become necklaces and nets with which we once fished beget stockings.

Today in our high-tech world, we transpose machines into fashion's realm. Walkmans, digital watches and pump-equipped shoes have all become common attire. However, apart from the wristwatch, by far the champion item in mechanical fashion is the headset.

Headsets are no longer those foamless, wire ear-crushers we used to labor under in language labs, or those white plastic, raindrop size, spaghetti wire devices that our grandfather used to stick in his ear to catch the baseball, the news and Lawrence Welk.

Today's headsets are 100-percent hard-core fashion, and for many of us, shopping for a new shirt, shoes, bag and/or haircut is no longer as easy as deciding, "I like that color," but rather, "Absolutely gorgeous! If only it went with my headphones."