Tokyo train fares are up. The stock market is down. Gun use is rising like a
hot air balloon and real estate prices are falling like a dropped bag of
leaves. The only things unchanging in Tokyo, it seems, are the numbers of
corrupt politicians and cookie-tossing drunks. You can't even find a
strawberry daiquiri frozen yogurt bar anymore. What the hell is happening to
this city?For a moment we actually considered joining those 18 people that the Ministry of Health and Welfare tells us Tokyo loses every day to the rest of Japan, thus raising the average intelligence of both places.
But then we came to our senses. Who would feed the carp in Arisugawa pond?
Who would pay the NHK fees? Who else would look for their name each day in the
"Undelivered Mail" column of The Japan Times? It didn't take us long to
remember that--as far as we are concerned--Tokyo is the best place in . . .
yeah, the whole damn universe.
But at least something good came out of our temporary uncertainty. We were able to recall all of the things that keep us from packing up and jumping ship. Or at least enough to keep us here until we get the shakes again.
For the next time--God forbid--that we ever fall into an hour of doubt, here are
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