Dining In

Dogs have never dined so well. Pet food companies now produce a lip-smacking array of so-called "gourmet" foods for dogs, including instant entrees, vegetarian soups, mineral water, Christmas cakes, even o-sechi ryori feasts - much of it calorie-counted and preservative free.
But just how palatable is canine cuisine for humans? Tokyo Journal put a range of gourmet dog dishes to the test. Our intrepid tasters were Tina Lieu and Eri Kim, nobly aided by editor Gregory Starr.

Oyatsu Desu Yo Cheese (¥250)
Moist morsels of low-sodium cheese, individually wrapped. Comes in beef, plain and katsuboshi (dried bonito) flavors; also suitable for cats.

Lieu: It's not as strong as human cheese.
Kim: This is okay. I could eat this.
Starr: I've eaten this somewhere before...

Cesar (¥240)
Nuggets of spongy cheese peeking through tender chunks of pinkish meat, all wrapped up in a subtle parcel of coagulating animal gel.

Lieu: It's like liver. It's really...livery.
Kim: If I was served this in some avant garde restaurant, I might think it was okay. I've eaten worse. Like at my Aunt's place.
Starr: I'll pass, thanks. If you say it's nice, I'll take your word for it.

D.B.F. Beef Steak (¥480)
Wholesome slabs of lightly veined "beef" swimming in a generous helping of pungent, oily juices.

Lieu: It's slightly synthetic, but edible.
Kim: You're sick. What do you eat at home? [Takes a large gulp of grapefruit juice]
Lieu: Come on, if you put this in soup, you could fool anyone. This is like real food.
Starr: I'm not eating that. I'm not feeling very well today. I'm hung over. I might throw up.

Gumi-chan (¥290)
Squidgy, milk-colored candies with a fun touch: they are bone-shaped.

Lieu: Not a ton of flavor. Like biting into an eraser.
Kim: You know that white stuff they pump you with just before a stomach examination? Barium, right? If I had a choice between barium and a Gumi-chan, I'd choose a Gumi-chan. [Takes another bite]
Starr: Look, I'm not eating it. I just don't feel very well.

Gold Premium Lamb and Rice (¥250)
Designed by veterinarians, this is a cheeky mixture of meat chunks and rice bearing a remarkable resemblance to something that has already passed through a dog once.

Lieu: Oh. Oh. This is really gross. Vile.
Kim: It's...this is...uuuuuurrgh!
Starr: [Suddenly finds a string of urgent phonecalls to make]

Golden Premium Vegetable and Chicken Soup (¥250)
A symphony of garden-fresh vegetables and chicken parts, delicately pureed to the consistency of baby dribble.

Lieu: It's very synthetic. Terrible aftertaste.
Kim: If I ate this on an airplane, I'd vomit.

No-brand Cookie (¥120)
A bite-sized biscuit with the freshness of Jomon-era sushi, artfully decorated with what looks like generous threads of delicious milk chocolate, but isn't.

Lieu: It tastes of MSG. It's more savory than sweet - like a pie crust.
Kim: This tastes familiar. [Takes another bite]

Kessi Smile Pero-Pero Candy (¥130)
A fluorescent green nodule of diamond-hard chewy stuff, smelling faintly of morning-after burps, sitting atop a psuedo-edible popsicle stick.

Lieu: It's just too hard to bite into. You'd probably have to suck it for a long time. We can't really eat this.
Kim: Thank god.

Pet Trivia

Pets on the Loose

Beetlemania

For many Tokyo children, the kabutomushi (goliath or stag beetle) is the first pet they ever care for and kill. Heian Era courtiers collected chirping insects and filled the palaces with insect song. Today's kids collect kabutomushi, pick their legs off at school, and enter the survivors in to-the-death beetle fights. The only way for the insects to avoid this fate is by not being born, which they tried in 1994 after a cold snap wiped many of them out before they could lay their eggs.

Turtle Man

In November 1994, 24-year-old Ichiro Gino set his carry-on bag down on the customs counter at Haneda Airport. Officials were about to let him through when the bag started moving. A thorough search revealed the enterprising Gino had a hidden some 115 live turtles in his luggage.

the croc shock ace suzuki, pet detective love me, love my ferret
The first reports came in summer 1993: a 70cm-long crocodile had been spotted in Tokyo's Shakujii Park. In an ensuing scare that cost local taxpayers over ¥2 million, warning signs were erected, locals staked out the park's pond, and park officials tried to coax the crocodile out with raw bait. Two years later, a dead crocodile measuring 1.6 meters from tooth to tail was found in Shakujii River, and locals breathed a sigh of relief...sort of. Was the dead croc the same one that had been spotted before? Or was another creature lurking in the pond? Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water... "If it wasn't for Pet 110, I would never have found Nobu," enthuses actress Naomi Ishii, whose fugitive dog was found by the Takadanobaba-based pet investigation service. Tokyo's answer to Ace Venture is Misao Suzuki, the owner of Pet 110 (3200-4984). He claims an 80-90 percent recovery rate, but somehow couldn't find the phone numbers of other owners he had reunited with runaway pets. "I did just find a cat up in Mataharu," says Suzuki. "But you wouldn't want to talk to those people. I found their cat on the railroad tracks. It was dead."
How does a typical hunt work? The family hands over about ¥180,000 for a 10-day search, along with a picture of the missing animal and a tape of the owner calling its name. Then Suzuki's agents scour the area tacking up posters, peering under cars, and playing the tape repeatedly until they find and trap the animal. Since starting up 10 years ago, Suzuki says he has tracked dogs, cats, porcupines, monkeys, rabbits, racoons, armadillos, pigs and even a turtle. "You'd be surprised how fast turtles can move," he insists. The 700-member International Ferret Society (3718-3430) threw its first ferret festival in Ginza last December. Ferrets are a relatively new entry on the Tokyo pet scene, but Business Ventures Japan - the Asian representatives for the Marshall pet products company - has sold over 15,000 in the last four years, and Aqua Shop in Mikami (5393-0246) reports a similar boom.
So what's the attraction? Ferrets are small, quiet, relatively cheap (around ¥60,000) and can live for up to 15 years. They don't need much room, don't scratch the furniture and always pee in the same place. And they love to play. "Ferrets play till they die - they play till you die," says BVJ's Michael Coleman. "They do this 'ferret dance' when they get really excited. They vigorously hop up and down on their hind legs."

the croc shock	ace suzuki, pet detective	love me, love my ferret
The first reports came in summer 1993: a 70cm-long crocodile had been spotted in Tokyo's Shakujii Park. In an ensuing scare that cost local taxpayers over ¥2 million, warning signs were erected, locals staked out the park's pond, and park officials tried to coax the crocodile out with raw bait. Two years later, a dead crocodile measuring 1.6 meters from tooth to tail was found in Shakujii River, and locals breathed a sigh of relief...sort of. Was the dead croc the same one that had been spotted before? Or was another creature lurking in the pond? Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water...	"If it wasn't for Pet 110, I would never have found Nobu," enthuses actress Naomi Ishii, whose fugitive dog was found by the Takadanobaba-based pet investigation service. Tokyo's answer to Ace Venture is Misao Suzuki, the owner of Pet 110 (3200-4984). He claims an 80-90 percent recovery rate, but somehow couldn't find the phone numbers of other owners he had reunited with runaway pets. "I did just find a cat up in Mataharu," says Suzuki. "But you wouldn't want to talk to those people. I found their cat on the railroad tracks. It was dead." How does a typical hunt work? The family hands over about ¥180,000 for a 10-day search, along with a picture of the missing animal and a tape of the owner calling its name. Then Suzuki's agents scour the area tacking up posters, peering under cars, and playing the tape repeatedly until they find and trap the animal. Since starting up 10 years ago, Suzuki says he has tracked dogs, cats, porcupines, monkeys, rabbits, racoons, armadillos, pigs and even a turtle. "You'd be surprised how fast turtles can move," he insists.	The 700-member International Ferret Society (3718-3430) threw its first ferret festival in Ginza last December. Ferrets are a relatively new entry on the Tokyo pet scene, but Business Ventures Japan - the Asian representatives for the Marshall pet products company - has sold over 15,000 in the last four years, and Aqua Shop in Mikami (5393-0246) reports a similar boom. So what's the attraction? Ferrets are small, quiet, relatively cheap (around ¥60,000) and can live for up to 15 years. They don't need much room, don't scratch the furniture and always pee in the same place. And they love to play. "Ferrets play till they die - they play till you die," says BVJ's Michael Coleman. "They do this 'ferret dance' when they get really excited. They vigorously hop up and down on their hind legs."

BACK